"I am no expert, but i sense maybe your daughter could be holding back something that is personal. Visit the school and her classroom without notice.(a surprise visit) Observe her teachers behavior and make a point of finding out the teachers & all staff members that are employed at the school.someone of authority or even a student from a higher grade level,could be making her uncomfortable..What if she e was told not to tell information about someone or something, if she is not talking to her parents, this should be a clue.Is she ashamed of something is she embarrassed about somthing,why would she like school but does not want to go? put yourself in her position. Ask yourself,(and we've all done this) when you get the chance to do or have something you really want and really enjoy,why is it that sometimes we will give up something or suffer a little, or sacrifice a little,in order to continue or acquire whatever it is that gives us enjoyment? in other words, we will accept! a little bad to get alot of good? The psychologist did not mention that it could be a teacher,staff member, adult figure, older student,that is the problem.Id like to think that we can trust our schools to ensure our childs safety and well being, but i cant help thinking that kids are exposed to everything these days. I hope it is nothing too serious with your girl,especially when she is so young. just be extra aware of her friends and their families, and the people who she is in contact with or have access to her.by looking at every angle you will find out why your girl is not talking. My daughter is 13 and i am trying to stay aware of and up to date, of what is out there facing our kids today. i am concerned and terrified knowing there is a possibility or a slight chance that something,(good or bad) could affect her for the rest of her life. young children are vulnerable to many people and to many situations. We as parents have to protect them."

"awesome idea for an article. I have a question of my own I would like answered. Since starting high-school this past fall, I have gone to ridiculously enthusiastic about school assignments to practically ignoring homework and if I do it, doing it at the last minute. I have this application/follow-through issue in a lot of things, but only during the school year. Annoyingly, I know I can do better, but never actually DO BETTER. Advice? "

"I would suggest a nap; she's tired! My young kids take naps when they get home from school and it does everyone a world of good."

"My daughter also used to have severe after-school meltdowns and while they still occur, now that we have discovered she had a severe gluten (wheat, rye, barley & oats)allergy and modified her diet she is more manageable. She also finds school exhausting because her eyes are not working together properly (eye-teaming) so we are addressing this by having her attend bi-weekly eye therapy sessions with a developmental optometrist in our area. A former teacher of my daughters asked me what we were doing differently because she had noticed how much more in control she was of herself and her emotions. Hope your daughter's problems are not as drastic as this but I just wanted you to know about these sometimes obscure reasons for emotional outbursts. "

" We have a granddaughter that has been in one school for kindergarden. She had many problems and now in another and starting same thing. None of this behavior is at home. She sees a doctor that does not semmed to be that concerned. NOW WHAT?"

"I have a master's degree in school psychology and am the parent of three. My middle child had similar meltdowns, and he had early developmental problems and a sensory integration disorder, which is not a term clinicians or school personnel are really familiar with (unless you have an experienced occupational therapist familiar with SI). Although I understand the temptation of believing if it doesn't happen at school, it must be a situation from the home environment, it is also true that kids, just like adults, try to hold it together as best they can. After a stressful day, they can fall apart in the safety of their home. I agree that the expectations of school aren't really developmentally appropriate. It just isn't normal for a young child to sit still all day, not to talk all day, and not to have a chance to play or rest. If they did that at home all day, we would think they were sick! On top of all this trying to restrain their movement, speech, and natural learning styles (exploring the environment, interaction with things, learning through play and high interest, etc), we are asking them to work all day at tasks that might be at a pace they can't keep up with. I really hurt for the little ones. They try and try and often feel like they are bad or stupid. Although my oldest son fit the mold very well and had no struggles with adapting to school, I quickly realized my middle son was going to suffer from damage to his self esteem and ability to socialize if something didn't change. His teacher was wonderful, by the way!! After kindergarten, I homeschooled him for about 2 years, then placed him in a Montessori school (expensive, but very nurturing). In my work, I have seen many, many demoralized precious kids who have literally given up by 2nd or 3rd grade, because they really have given their best day after day and feel like a failure. I wish the best for you and all the little ones!"

"I am currently having my daughter evaluated in school. We recently moved to a new district & she is having difficulty with her academics. Also she is on an emotional roller coaster. We completed a conner's scale & our physician comfirmed a lot of hyperactivity. I have noticed that food seems to play a large part in her emotions. Is this typical or oculd there be underlying factors? "

"thinking about moving to lower PA, York area, (Southern School Dist) My son has Sensory Integration Disorder as well as some ADHD type behavior. He isn't 'bad enough' for No Child... here in Md. Is PA better about this or where can I get real info regards this Thanks"

"My son has had similar meltdowns since beginning Kindergarten in his school and he is now in second grade and at various times the meltdowns still continue and It is definitely school related because he returns to normal behavior during the summer and Christmas Break. My son has been dealing with bullying issues at school and has had his private areas touched by a group of boys, particularly one boy, and the school has not taken it seriously. I do feel from what I read about the little girl having the meltdowns right after school that it is somehow school related and needs to be taken seriously. It's hard for children this age to verbally describe their frustration about what is happening at school. Parents need to trust their intuition and if your child did not act like this before entering Kindergarten then I think you have your answer."

"We experienced similar problems. I think my youngest was simply fatigued & hungry. Often dehydration was a factor; she wasn't drinking enough at school because she didn't want to have to go to the bathroom. Check for thirst, hunger and fatigue first - and address those issues. NEVER have a tv in their bedroom because it decreases the amount and quality of their sleep. Be sure they get enough sleep -- each child has an individual set-point for amount of sleep. My youngest (9yo) has a bedtime of 8pm. Many of her peers stay up *much* later... A technique to try to encourage discussion is to ask 2 'superlative' open-ended questions -- what is the funniest, dumbest, most exciting, really boring thing that happened at school today? Be sure you're not 'grilling' her and that she feels she has some level of privacy. You may include some direct questions, like Who did you sit next to at lunch? What did you play at recess? Who got in trouble today? Sometimes it is easier for them to talk about other children rather than themselves... "

"I'm not sure who come up with the bright idea of keeping 5 year olds away from their parents for an entire day without a mid-day nap and often no outdoor recess. I am the child of retired public educators and now at 40 vividly remember kindergarten and the wonderful play (the kitchen area was my favorite!). I remember being a 'little kid' to an 8 year old and being almost sequestered from the older children in the school. We kinders ate in the cafeteria before the other children did because teachers were aware that the daily noise and craziness was too much for our still developing senses. I made the decision this year (after 1 day of my son attending a supposed top elementary school in NYC) to homeschool my son for kindergarten because of the lack of daily recess, the new harsh focus on academics/ testing and not learning by play, the large class sizes that prevent teachers from learning the individual temperments of each child and the spiritual foundation that I'd like to ! instill my son. My son is active, social, giving and an avid learner. The financial hardship is there for our family but in my evening work with pre-teens and teens I see the results of children who have gone unheard and been systemized away from their feelings and natural talents. "

"'HOW DO I GET MY SON AND DAUGHTER TO START GETTING INTERESTED IN SOMETHING THAT WILL KEEP THEM PHYSICALLY FIT. THEY DONT LIKE GOING OUTSIDE. WE BUY BIKES, BATS AND GLOVES, SKATES, AND NOTHING SEEM TO WORK. HELP ME PLEASE.' Sounds like our kids were 'cut from the same cloth'!I have found that my kids (any age) will do what they see their parents do. If I am interested in riding the bike, throwing the frisbee, walking the dog, swimming, then they become interested. If I or their father shows interest in TV,video games, or internet, then they do likewise. Unfortunately, they learned their 'couch potato' habits from us and we will have to model a different behavior and set some different ground rules about indoor activites in order to turn the kids' behavior around. -Hope this helps"

"Emmotional meltdowns also occurred for my son almost immediately after school. I gave him protein snacks. I gave him more rest, spent more time with him, etc. Now that he is a year older, in a new school, new teacher, they have completely stopped. Now I think it was more than hunger & rest. Looking back, I can see that my son was stressed at having to behave so perfectly all day for his teachers approval. also, his school did not have enough recess/ outlets to be a kid. My child did not want to talk about it either. I had a do a lot of talking with other classroom parents to piece together what was happening. I was told by his last school that my son had sensory integration issues ...so I spent a ton of time & money to investigate. Totally worth it for my piece of mind. But interesting that his new teachers do not think he has issues at all. The best advice i can give...is listen to what your heart/gut are telling you is the reason...and start there."

"HOW DO I GET MY SON AND DAUGHTER TO START GETTING INTERESTED IN SOMETHING THAT WILL KEEP THEM PHYSICALLY FIT. THEY DONT LIKE GOING OUTSIDE. WE BUY BIKES, BATS AND GLOVES, SKATES, AND NOTHING SEEM TO WORK. HELP ME PLEASE."

"I think it would be a good idea to volunteer in the class more if possible. There may be issues with the teacher. My daughter had similar problems but in the 3rd grade and it turned out the teacher was a yeller. My daughter wasn't getting yelled at but just having to hear the teacher berate the other students had a negative effect on her. She even bit her nails that year."

"Previous comments abt tiredness are RIGHT ON! We can't get my son to take a nap but we do insist on a healthy SNACK the minute he walks in the door and then at least 30 mins of quiet relaxing play with quiet relaxing music. After he's settled into the home routine, we can talk abt his day. But right after school, he's way too wound up. So in two words... FOOD and REST! "

"RED DYE! I had the same problem, and recognized that 30 minutes prior to my daughter's pick up time was SNACK TIME! We found out that Red Dye #40 (in most of her snacks/drinks) causes extreme problems, which mimic a psychotic episode. Removing the red dye (and Yellow#5) entirely from her diet brought out a completely different child. Online, researcing red dye's effects, the explanation was 'psychatric outbursts'. My childs seemed to come out of nowhere, started from anything OR nothing!! Look up Dr. Feingold online for help - you have to really look at ALL labels...you'd be surprised at what has red dye in it. TRY IT! It can't hurt. =) good luck."

"Please don't think because your child breaks down after coming home that there is a medical condition. Believe it or not your child's behavior is in fact normal. As the previous posts have stated kindergarten can be a taxing endeavor to a child. She may indeed be physically tired. However, what it sounds like is that she is overwhelmed. This is commonly referred to as a Touchpoint by Dr. T. Berry Brazelton: times in a child's life when they seem to fall apart. It indicates a period of rapid growth cognitively and emotionally. Because you are someone she loves and trust, she feels safe displaying her emotions with you which she most likely doesn't do at school. She may be feeling excited about everything she's learning about school, but also worried about her progress, her acceptance by peers, etc. All normal curiosities for any child. Her world is changing and with that comes questions and emotions. Allowing her to cry and feel what it is she's feeling without making her feel guilty for it will help. I know as a parent we never want to see our children unhappy but 'negative' emotions are also necessary for growth. So many adults are uncomfortable with anger, sadness and fear and have developed many coping mechanisms to ignore them. You don't want your daughter uncomfortable with her own emotions. Let her cry, hug her, and help her discover healthy ways to understand her feelings. Perhaps a nap will help give her some downtime from all the excitement or some time to paint& draw whatever she's feeling would be a good catharsis. Use her behavior and body language to help find what works for her. "

"We are early risers. Sometimes we have before/after school care for my step daughter especially when she was younger. I spoke to her pediatrician and did some research on the internet and they both recommended for young girls to get 10-13 hours of sleep each night. Do some homework about how much sleep is require for each age range. It could greatly help."

"The poor child sounds like she is fatigued from the new kindergarten schedule. She will take time to adjust to the long day. Start putting her to bed 20 mintutes earlier each night until she is getting enough sleep to help her cope better in the day. This will be her new bedtime. It may be 7.30pm."

"i think the advise was pretty correct. if a child is physicaly tierd after a day at school i think they should get some medical attention. a friends of mines daughter came home from school every day and went straight to bed every day. turns out she had a phycological problem. good luck. "

"My youngest daughter is now in the 4th grade. She is in the gifted class after scoring 97% on the National testing, with an IQ of 128. She seems to like school, complains of not having enough friends even though this is not seen at school. She is extremely friendly, but seem to have an 'intermittent explosive temper disorder' (believed to be inherited from her dad who I have been divorced from for 8 years. She is 9 1/2. I believe that her 'belief' of not having enough friends is an exaggeration...but am not certain. She 'skated' through the first 3 years, including Kindergarten and Pre-K. ie: seemed bored, that is why I had her screened for the 'gifted' program and also at the advice of her 3rd. grade teacher. When it comes to homework... it is a daily catastrophe. She says she doesn't know what to do, or how, but is on the A-B Honor Roll! Do you think that she is just 'crying out' for more attention, as when forced to do the homework, she will often, (after the melt! down) go in her room and come out with the work, completed and mostly correct. She also has a problem with spelling. She can pronounce the words and generally knows the meanings. At home, we always use the captions on the TV, as I beleive that this helps them learn how to spell as both of my girls are already hearing the word. My former husband refuses to 'allow' me to take her to a Psychiatrist, but we have had counseling on and off for 8 years. What do you think? I am an older mom (51) and averaged 3.75 or greater in high school, but never went to college. I consider myself intelligent, although sometimes I have to review and think a little longer about how to show her(them) how to figure out the work, without doing it for them. I think this is where I am lacking. My 6th grader, recently introduced to middle school, who is 'developing' into a young lady quickly... Loves school. In elementary school she was ALWAYS on the Honor Roll, but is now doing below average in comparison to her first 5 years.. to include kindergarten. She is secretive, lies about assignments even though I always find out. I am aware that girls of this generation are maturing much quicker than those of my generation, but she is Mouthy, Inconsiderate and extremely 'moody' after school. It seems that once school ends both of my daughters leave their thinking caps, and desire to achieve in school, as they would rather go out and play with friends. I have not wavered in the rules of doing homework prior to 'play time', perhaps this is some of the cause. Quite frankly, I just don't know! I wish that children came with clear, precise manuals that would apply to all of them, yet they are all individual, so I guess that wouldn't work! I can say, as an older mom, that this is much harder than I ever thought it would/could be. Does the SuperNanny come to South Florida? All suggestions are helpful. Sincerely, Linda petsarebest@yahoo.com"

"What about something as simple as 'down time' or a short nap after school. Our Kindergartener generally falls asleep in the car on the way home, she sleeps for about 20 or 30 minutes and seems to get a 'second wind.' We then have a snack, do homework and its off to Karate! (I'm grandma) The poor kid might just be TIRED!!!"

"I can't tell you enough how important it is for her to get enough sleep at night. I know so many people that let their kids stay up until 9 or 9:30, and my 6 yr. old has major meltdowns the next day if he's not asleep between 7 & 8 needing to wake by 7:30am. I'm not sure how some of these kids are functioning. It is exhausting for children to suddenly go to 7 hrs. a day, and they have to be well rested. On another note, all of my nieces and nephews were mum when asked about their day while in Kindergarten. I don't know why, but considering they all as cousins of various ages did it, I'm guessing it's normal. "

"I have experienced the same thing last year with my oldest daughter going to kindergarten. She seems to be doing fine in the first grade. I think with mine it was their first time in school and just not quite use to it. My youngest daughter is going through kindergarten this year and doing the emotional thing too. I am trying to be patient and learn that she is learning alot and she just gets so exhausted. I am trying to deal with it the best way I can. "

"I have a kindergartner and although he has adjusted fine, there are several children in his class which are having similar problems. I would ask how much sleep is your child getting per night? At this age, they require 11-13 hours. Our son is in bed by 8pm and awakens at 7:30. He was going to bed at 9pm and was having the 'meltdowns'. Kindergarten is equivalent to my second grade years so it is demanding. "

" I had the same problem with my son and got no neg. feedback from the teacher so I had to figure out what was what and I learned two things: 1- my son is a great child and is bright anfd that automatically triggered me to ask all the what did you do at school today question ( in every form you can imagine) and got no answers really. So, I started asking very EASY questions like 'How was your turkey sandwhich today?' Did you noticed I left the cheese off and gave you a cheese stick instead?' Was it good? And then I stopped asking questions and tell him I love him and missed him but glad he had a good day. Sometimes he falls a sleep in the car on the way home ( 7 hrs. of school is long for him, I'm a stay at home mom, even though he never took naps and went to one year of preschool, it's hard) if he seems to be sleeping 'hard' I just carry him in and place him on the sofa and go through his bookbag and get stuff ready for the next day and then wake him up gently and he's good. This only happens about 1 or 2 times a week at most but when he wakes up and starts talking he usually brings up the things he does at s! chool. And even shows me his work, I've put it on the table where his dad will see it and that prompts different conversations. I realized that it was just too much for him to remember all at once and I was overwhelming him by asking. 2- I had mentioned to my husband that I wasn't real enthusiastic about the class and even though he wasn't in the immediate area, i think he picked up on my anxiety and he affected him. So, I take all the pressure off(it is only kindergarten and try my best to let him take the lead on telling me what he has done. I volunteer at his school alot so I get to speak w/ his teacher( I do try to volunteer for things outside of his classroom as well as a few things in his class and that seems to help. I filled in for the receptionist the other day and he saw me as he was going out to play and just smiled and waved and i did likewise and gave our hand sign that means 'I love you' and I didn't see him again until it was time to go home. I know not everyone can do that but most can at least 1 time a quarter. Hope this helps!`"

"My son is having these upsets at home but not in school. I am so happy to know this may not be related to his disability. Two months ago I sought professional help for my son and myself to learn how to cope and manage this new behavior. I feel good knowing I made the right decision for us. Thanks for the article."

"Adjusting to full-day kindergarten without naps, with new people in a structured academic environment contributed to my son's end-of-day meltdowns. He's doing much better three months into the school year but after school, he may need a nap, a snack, playtime, veg time, and occasionaly that emtional release. After those needs are met, he's better able to tell me what happened during the day so we can pinpoint an incident or frustration if there was one."

"How about how much sleep is she getting. If my son (5 yrs old) gets less than 10 hours a night, ANYTHING will set him off. "